Welcome, and thank you for stopping by. It’s been a while since I’ve been online. So much has happened in my life over the last few weeks. One day I will share all the details with you. Some are good, some not so good. I can say I have learned a lot in a very short period of time to the point of overwhelming.
As one person put it to me last week, “You didn’t choose this road; it chose you.”
That may be true. I didn’t choose what has happened to me this year. 2021 has been a rough year for me in many ways, not the same way as others. I am not downgrading what has happened to other people because the storms they are going through also feel overwhelming.
This year has been a year of lessons on subjects I never dreamed I would experience. I have learned about so many things and yet have so much more to learn.
A friend of mine sent me a note that said, “God must have built you for high capacity.”
I don’t know if God did, but I was definitely at max capacity last week, and I couldn’t handle one more request or demand from anyone. I was so tired and spent emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually in so many ways.
Folks, it’s not a good place to be. I was feeling drained in all areas of life. Everything came at me at once.
But today, I feel better and more rested than I have in weeks. I’m not sleeping how I would like, but I am getting more sleep than I have been, and that’s a good thing. And I am back in the scriptures. I have missed reading my Bible.
One thing that really helped me this past week was a visit from an old friend. She isn’t old as in older than me, but I have known her for many years.
Her beautiful son has autism, and years ago, she found herself in the same place I find myself today. Where do you start, and what steps do you take to ensure your little guy grows into a responsible man who can care for himself after you are gone?
I am just getting started on the autism journey. We are still in the preliminary stages of Jaxon’s diagnosis and have difficulty getting into doctors because I do not have temporary custody yet. I am awaiting a court date. In the meantime, I am learning all I can about autism to manage Jaxon in the interim.
At my max this past week, I called my friend, who now has years under her belt managing her own son. When she heard my voice, she came right over. Her willingness to give up a Saturday afternoon to help me is appreciated more than she knows.
We talked about my difficulties with Jaxon’s behavior, tantrums, picky eating, and diaper picking. We reviewed the steps I took in each instance.
I have been going about this all wrong. What worked on my daughter 23 years ago does not work on Jaxon. Why did I waste so much time trying to implement what I knew to be tried and true methods on a little boy who clearly is not the same as my daughter?
By the time my friend left, I had a better understanding of what to do and how to manage Jaxon when he has tantrums. We talked about picky eating and foods that trigger issues, and I learned about sensory-seeking behaviors and how his little body seeks certain feelings I don’t comprehend.
Having a child with autism and no skills or insight on how to handle them is overwhelming. You see the behaviors, and you feel lost in managing them.
I tried to get help by joining several Facebook groups. While some people were supportive and gave constructive feedback, others criticized me and called me cruel because of how I was handling certain situations. I was looking for help for something I knew very little about, not a scolding. Perhaps they have forgotten they, too, were once in my shoes.
Having a little more information and techniques on handling Jaxon’s behaviors while I wait for official doctor visits and therapies made a huge difference in how I felt.
I learn by watching, and as I sat there watching my friend walk through the various steps with Jaxon, I thought to myself, ‘Ok, I can do this, but it will require lots of energy and commitment on my part. This is not an overnight fix.’
As my friend reminded me a few times that day, the situation was not hopeless. I need some direction and to remember I am not alone.
I am so thankful the Lord placed this woman in my life years ago. She has learned so much about autism over the years managing her own son and has become a well of information. We never know when we will need them, but God does.
Are all kids the same?
Will they all respond the same way? No.
But I have seen how her son functions today due to her steadfastness never to give up trying to help him, and that little boy gives me hope for Jaxon.
The Lord has never given up on me. And while I have had many overwhelming weeks lately, Jaxon deserves to have someone in his life that will never give up on him. I need to help mold and shape him into the man God wants him to be. It is what I believe the Lord has asked me to do in this season of life.
It won’t be easy, as evidenced this past weekend. But I have learned over the years, not much is easy when the Lord calls you to serve. I am reminded though, he doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called.
So Jaxon and I will learn together one day at a time. We will both grow into what the Lord has for us, each in our own way.
The most important thing I can do in addition to getting help from doctors and therapists is to pray fervently and unceasingly. Seek wisdom from the one who called me to this task.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
I will always be praying and learning until the Lord takes me home.
The Teaching Lady
Starting Over At 54 – Patience