I’m Inventing My Own Frog Catcher!

Ok, that’s it! I’m inventing my own frog catcher to get rid of the 14 frogs I have perched over my window sills tonight! No one sells a frog catcher, so I’m making my own. They’ll be humane and we’ll ship them back to wherever they originated!

I’m done housing these frogs for free! Pay rent or pay a fee!!! They’re in the front, they’re in the back, they’re on the sides, they don’t hide. They’re above and they’re below. My goodness, they’re like mistletoe!

I cannot stand these frogs I say, someone come over and take them away! I can’t help it their trees came down, go find a new tree in another town. Get away, get away from my house I say, and don’t ever come back, not now, not then, not any day!

And don’t post cute little pictures of frogs on my page, not live ones, dead ones or in any way. I do not like frogs, I do not like them at all. I do not like them big or small.

I can sell books and I can teach. I’ll invent a frog catcher that will reach. I will get these blasted frogs I say, or at the very least write a book about them someday!

I’ll write about how they tortured me and I couldn’t sleep. I’ll write about how one jumped in the toilet and I couldn’t pee for a week. I’ll write about all the frog jokes and pictures from friends, who thought they were cute but wouldn’t send, me a frog catcher or come take them away. I understand why because I’d have twenty more the next day.

I’ll write about the one that was on my kitchen wall, and how I sprayed wasp spray on him to fall. Oh, he wouldn’t fall but hopped around, till the neighbor came down and he was found. At 3 in the morning, I woke her from sleep, all to come catch a frog that was torturing me.

I think I need to see a counselor, yep that’s what I need. Someone to hypnotize me so I can breathe.

Lord this isn’t funny oh no not to me, just be sure my space in heaven is frog free. Cuz when I finally get there one day, I don’t want to see any more frogs in my way.

Frog overload still,

Jeanette Duby

#frogs #cubantreefrogs  #counseling #humor

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